Famous Funny Cat Quotes

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens.
Cynthia Varnado

If cats could talk, they wouldn't.
Nan Porter

There are two means of refuge from the misery of life- music and cats.
Albert Schweitzer

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
Mark Twain

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Joseph Wood Krutch

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Louis J. Camuti

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
Paula Poundstone

Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
Helen Powers

When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she is to me?
Michel de Montaingne

If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up.
Jean Asper McIntosh

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
Leo Dworken

A dog, I have always said, is prose; a cat is a poem.
Jean Burden

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
Author Unknown

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
Terry Pratchett

My cat speaks sign language with her tail.
Robert Stern

Dogs come when they're called; cats will take a message and get back to you later.
Mary Bly

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.
Edgar Allan Poe

A cat improves the garden wall in sunshine, and the hearth in foul weather.
Judith Merkle Riley

Kittens can happen to anyone.
Paul Gallico

To bathe a cat takes brute force; perseverance, courage of conviction-- and a cat. The last ingredient is usually the hardest to come by.
Stephen Baker

Of all the toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It come completely assembled, and it makes a sound when you jump on it.
Stephen Baker

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Abraham Lincoln

A cat is a puzzle for which there is not solution.
Hazel Nicholson

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.
Colette

Who among us hasn't envied the cat's ability to ignore the cares of daily life and to relax completely?
Karen Brademeyer

It is really the cat's house -- we just pay the mortgage.
Author Unknown

Some people own cats and go on to lead normal lives.
Author Unknown

The cat is above all things, a dramatist.
Margaret Benson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez

If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr.
Barbara Diamond